Good morning dearest friend …
Today I am going to put the playful life enthusiast muse aside for a moment and welcome in “serious task master Kyla” to share something very, very important with you … but first a quote.
“Being loving and spiritual does not mean putting everyone and everything above our own needs!”
Now this might sounds a little selfish and weird at first, and that is exactly the point, and for others you might have been working towards overcoming this for a while already.
You see we can only truly share pure life giving love in the world if and when our cup is full or at least has a few drops in it, and we definitely can’t win the race of life on empty. How do I know this … well I’ve tried a few times and I can tell you it doesn’t end well.
I would even hazard a guess that if you are someone who is still in a habit of putting others above and before yourself then you might not even realise just how often you do it. I know my habitual “yes’s” sometime sneak in so quietly I don’t even realise they are happening.
So if you just have a feeling that you might be sailing the waters at the moment with an empty cup or fuel tank, I would like you to ask yourself “whats in it for me and what belief is below this desire to ignore or choose not to voice and action my own needs??” You see there is always a secondary gain involved as otherwise we just simply wouldn’t be doing it. For me as a 7 in the Enneagram my basic fear is to avoid pain and with this comes the belief that “ill be ok (and avoid feeling pain) if I can make sure everyone else is ok and happy” and I can assure you this was a very exhausting belief to hold onto. Im intrigued to know what yours is???
Why do I care so much about this … well everywhere I turn at the moment I see loving, open hearted people exhausted, burn out, sick and even super sad because their soul knows they are putting their needs last … so our mission for this month, this year, this century is to FIRST practice and ripple “inner and outer self love and kindness” into our world through our words, our actions, through everything … yes fuel yourself first. Then I invite you to become curious to see what positive impact this has on your joy, your happiness and your connections which are then done through the purity and innocence of love rather than an strange obligation of selfless sacrifice (it even sounds icky, being self less means we totally lose our self). And for all the mum’s reading this, even starting with 30mins a week for yourself is a miraculous gift for the soul and your energy, and its not about finding the time, its about MAKING the time.
Some of you might have even noticed me putting my needs first in the last few weeks and this has meant a couple of musings have been missed. Did I feel a little guilt and sadness arise as monday passed and went “of course I’m human just like you.” But as I allowed the discomfort I also realised that “walking my talk” is better than “faking my walk” and last years 12months of pain with a herniated disk has taught me my health and my happiness must come first.
So now know that going forward if there is a Monday we miss together, it is a reminder that I am off doing something life giving, or maybe simply having a lie in. And with this silence in your inbox comes a gentle gift for all of us to put our needs first, and guess what … strangely the world still goes on without us.
Happy Monday to you my beautiful friend and may kindness fill your heart and soul this week. And if you have a friend or family member that might benefit from these words today then please share it along, the more self directed kindness in the world means the more love we have to share in the world and the better off we will all be.
Immense, immense, magical love and self kindness coming your way …. WHY because we are so so so worth it.
Transformational Speaker, Soul Coach & Facilitator of EXTRAordinary Change